I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
