I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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