Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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