Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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