ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize