Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
God, I missed his penis.
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