i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
