Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize