Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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