i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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