it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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