i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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