I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
