You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
