oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
