32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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