Ambien. No doubt about it.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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