Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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