New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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