I saw his package. It spoke to me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
