That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
