It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
