we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
