so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
