Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
do nipples grow back?
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