Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
