last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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