Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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