I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
