I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
