FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
