...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
