I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
