and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
