you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
