I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
