If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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