Non-Jews are for practice
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
