wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So squirting runs in the family.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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