Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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