you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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