it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Randomize
