I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
