its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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