Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
