....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
