at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
