Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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