dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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