I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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