evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
