so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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