Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We named our party play list daddy issues
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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