I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
not ubering you a puppy
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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