I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
