this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize