You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
