Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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