she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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