And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize