Me too!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
