but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i need to put some appletini on your dick
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
